When you think everyone else is an asshole, it’s not them, it’s you.
There are a lot of things out there that are bad for me. Things like cigarettes, garbage and broken glass; Toxins, like alcohol, fluoride, and pesticides; Poisons and dangers that cause and create chaos, confusion, extra work and lasting negative effects.
Eventually I had to smarten up, and stop playing with them and allowing them near me and in my life. It’s only natural that I learn to make better choices for my health and well being.
You’d probably agree that it is a wise choice to stay away from the bad things that hurt me and put me in danger.
I cut out all the stuff that brings me down, this family member, just happens to be one of those things.
Does that make me a yogi?
Lets say, for example, this family member has a history of picking on me, hurting my feelings, talking about me behind my back, complaining about what I have done, or how I have done it, nevertheless, what ever it was, it, and I, was wrong. This person has a history of blaming me (and anyone and everyone else for that matter) for things I have not done and are not my fault.
This family member has a number of notable habits and behaviors; 1. Is not capable of effective communication, lies, and talks bad about everyone. 2. Is nasty to people, even, and especially, the people who are closest and/or support him/her the most. 3. Has no room to understand anything new. 4. Can’t handle the truth, instead distorting reality to make it seem like he/she is the victim of all in all situations. 5. Rallies people against each other. 6. Creates conflict, suffering, and pain. 7. Continues to point the finger in blame instead of taking personal responsibility. 8. Manipulates, controls, and brain washes those around her to believe she is the only one who is right. 9. Controls others from having relationships without him/her. 10. Uses those she can control (as bait) to get what she wants. 11. Lacks common sense, decency, love and kindness. 12. Creates co-dependency, confusion, and gossip, and uses anyone who will listen to feed his/her pain. 13. Can not ask for help, instead uses passive aggressive tactics to get others to do for him/her without asking or agreeing to the help. 14. Complains about and blames the people who helped for doing it incorrect. 15. Constantly creates more problems for self and others and has a problem for every solution. I think you would agree, this family member is toxic, poisonous, and dangerous to self and others. When you think everyone else is an asshole, it’s not them, it’s you.
It is important to remember that as we mature, we are granted with the sole responsibility of taking care of one self. As long as one is capable and strong enough to take care of basic daily living, there really is no right for anyone else to intervene in their life. We each have specific lessons to learn that are necessary for our growth and expansion. We are to learn from our experiences and evolve. It is not your responsibility to learn lessons for others. You can not force someone to understand what you do. It would actually be inappropraite for you to think that you have a superior or better way for them to live. It is important to respect others free will, as well as their unique path. You can take a horse to the water, but you can't force them to drink. No matter how much you care, you must surrender your own agenda. It is unhealthy to be attached to ideals. You must let go of your hopes and dreams of having a healthy relationship with this family member. When the behaviors noted above are chronic, meaning they have been this way for a significant amount of time, (years, the whole time you have known them, or most of their life) recognize the situation for what it is and create a healthy boundary and necessary detachment from this person. There is broken glass on your path, at first you may not know it is dangerous and get cut. The next time you walk that path, you may hope it's not there or even try to tip toe around it, but you get cut again. Eventually you will learn it is safer to take a different path. Good luck. If you feel you would still like to help this person, it may be best to look into prayer and distant healing options.